"What do you do on Deepavali Day?", I had asked an Elder of the Chettinad region. At that time he had just relinquished his post as the Chair of their multi-million conglomerate.
"My wife and I normally are up early in the morning, have our morning ritualistic oil bath, visit the temple of Kapaleeswar Temple (a Shaivite temple that their family had been the patrons of for several generations) in Mylapore. On our return we have some breakfast and from about 9 till 2 we receive younger guests who come to us for seeking blessings", he responded. "It is important for us to stay and be available for youngsters seeking blessings on that day", he added.
While seeking blessings from Elders during times of festival is a fast disappearing tradition in India, several such Elders and a few communities seem to practice it as their solemn responsibility.
I know of one senior theater artists (alas is no more) who kept a collection of five rupee coins with him always. He chanted a few lines of goodness blessings for each person who sought it and then gave them the five rupee coin as a token of his blessings. I know people who retain it as a talisman, since his demise it has gained in value, carries as it does the memory as well. Seetharam thatha, our own 97 year old well wisher, always has a few envelops of 'prasad' from some temples, these along with a small change is his blessing, thereby adding a divine edge to his blessings.
My father's cousin and his wife live all by themselves in a flat in Chennai. He is in his mid-80s and his wife in late 70s. Both of them have several health problems and all their children and grand children live abroad. They moved about with crutches in the modest flat and ordered most of their needs over phone and are highly dependent on several functionaries being available (and phone lines working) for their daily needs even. While visiting them to invite them for a family function, I asked him about the trouble of living with no younger help. His response was insightful, "You see, when we grow old, our role is to be available to bless youngsters. To be available to our relatives and friends here and attend whatever functions we are invited for, to bless people wholeheartedly, that gives us satisfaction. We think this is very important, hence prefer to live here at least during the festive parts of the year"! When does this responsibility come into someone? and what gives people this responsibility? Another getting-to-be Elder remarked once, "at some point you start to accept people seeking blessings, it is a recognition that you are now an Elder, few accept it gracefully".
It is amazing that the Elders find so much purpose to be ambassadors of goodwill and thereby ensure that their contribution is maintained in strengthening relations that build the social fabric. It is a rich society which can have a large number of Elders willing to spare time for the youngsters, to Bless, to share their goodwill, to pronounce good wishes beyond what is borrowed from digital sources and to spread warmth and love.
I have seen the transition of this tradition of seeking blessings and getting together giving way to exchanging sweets alone. People far off get an opportunity to merely send messages over email, text or be content with long distant calls. The generation today in their peak productive life are also the ones with the responsibility to transmit this custom from the previous to the next generation, needs to practice it to understand its meaning. To this generation, any festival, such as Deepavali, is another 'holiday' and all holidays are meant for oneself and not for others. While we are often busy planning holidays at home in front of idiot boxes and get away's to pursue packaged ideas of festival, taking that extra effort to seek blessings is a way to pass on a tradition that is valuable both personally and socially.
Happy Deepavali.
